Being Crushed With Miyha

Following an album release tour for their debut LP World’s Biggest Crush, I got on the phone with Alejandra Perez of Miyha to talk about, parents, catharsis, playing a supporting role, and Kacey Musgraves.

Mihya is an alternative indie band out of Madison, WI. Their debut album World’s Biggest Crush incorporates a heavy layer of rock over what they call “emo adjacent. As far adjacent as possible. Don’t ever label us as emo”. Though NOT emo, World’s Biggest Crush distills heavy emotions into ten solid tracks, all with guitarist and vocalist Alejandra Perez acting as a living ventricle. Perez talks casually about actualizations you might discover in your therapist’s office, multifaceted in her understandings of life and her own truths. She is equally casual when telling Nazis to fuck off. Which is, as the kids say, the energy we need. Perez has the unique capability to recognize the comedy and tragedy of life; with World’s Biggest Crush comes humanity, and the understanding that life is often a raging dumpster fire shot through with beautiful moments of joy. It’s a literal LP that lives up to its name, ‘crush’ being what you feel for people as well as the way the universe treats us. The more we talk the more I see Perez as an anchor for the band, though she has me on speakerphone so that lead guitarist Mike Pellino can chime in when he feels like it (he rarely does). And at one point drummer Erik Fredine walks up yelling excitedly and we pause our conversation long enough for him to suggest I listen to a Brazilian thrash metal band he loves. Though Miyha takes a specific kind of emotional weight upon themselves, it’s important to note that for the last several questions Erik was seated off to the side, air drumming with headphones on and excited to watch soccer later (our interview was initially postponed for the game). And at one point Perez yelled excitedly to point out a small dog being walked outside their practice space (which they describe as a “garage”). World’s Biggest Crush is a dense album that offers up only the meatiest, most tender hunks. Perez steers the album with lyrical open wounds and heals them by playing for those who might see their own experiences reflected in her own. It’s a brave debut that may be a little wiser than the rest of us.

You all have side projects outside of Miyha, right?

Yes! It’s difficult. Mike and Erik are in three bands total. They’re both in TIPPY and We Should’ve Been DJs. Erik drums in all of them, and a band called HaveaHeart. Mike is in Christian Dior, I’m in a band called Norris Court, and Kyle is in Parsing.

How do you make time for Miyha?

I would say that, as individuals, we’re very un-disciplined people. But when it comes to a band we make it work. The tricky thing is that Mike and Erik are bartenders but Kyle is a marketer and I work at University of Wisconsin Madison, so we work 9-5 and they work at night. And then hopefully I stay awake. We try to keep it regular and we only play a show once a month, that’s our rule. [We Should’ve Been] DJs is consistent and TIPPY has been sitting on a record for awhile. But you grab what time you can and hope to fit everyone’s regular schedule. If you were to walk into our bedrooms you’d be like “this is a wreck”, but when it comes to our music we show up. And if we have a deadline we make it. We make time for it. I think the fear is just that we want to be accountable for each other and the plans that we make. There’s a fear of pissing off a bandmate because you’re not pulling your weight. Everyone seems to find the time for Miyha and for their other projects, it’s a balance.

Did you try Google calendar?

Nobody did it. I really tried.

Do you feel like that level of discipline is what allowed for such a concentrated album?

I think the album is like that because we’re in a lot of other bands, and because we’ve been playing the same nine songs for two years. New material suffered taking priority. We did as much as we could. But I was still writing a lot of songs, so we threw in the acoustic track. They feel really concentrated and packed in because, as somebody writing the lyrics, I went through a lot. I guess a lot of the songs are really loaded and busy because of what I was experiencing. There are a lot of different relationships on there and there’s wondering why your parents got together or missing your best friend, it’s all very dense.

You have an EP from 2017 that has a far more laid back sound. What changed in the recording thought process?

We’ve definitely sped up over the last couple of years. I think Happy Birthday,Happy Birthday, Nick is more pop, and laidback and joyful. World’s Biggest Crush is a lot heavier, faster, and more to the point. A lot of that is because Erik speeds it up times two. And we recorded the album to a clip track, so the songs are more consistent from start to finish. I think everything came through more clearly here.

There’s a real warmth to the album despite it covering a lot of bleak moments. How do you put this sense of triumph in the sound despite the content?

I think that when I write a song it actually has a somber tone. I write a lot of songs in minor, I don’t play the G chord. It’s all sad anyways. But I’ll write the song and then bring it in and the guys will dress it up. Mike brightens things up with his guitar playing, He has such a wide capability, it can shift from bright to somber quickly. And with the speed that Erik plays… I think the topics I want to express, while really heavy, are all lifted up by everything the guys do. We don’t like to sound depressing. I think World’s Biggest Crush sounds the way it does, full and enriched without blank and meaningless spaces, is because every part has a purpose. From the first song to the last song, it feels very cohesive as a listening experience.

There’s also, at risk of sounding hokey, a really self-actualized feel to the album. Would you say you’re a pretty introspective person?

Oh yeah. Every single thing on the album is something that is happening or occurring, or did occur in my life. It’s all very literal, it’s a way of catharsis. A lot of the topics that people sing about can be very personal, very vulnerable, and speak to things that are kind of stressful. A good handful of the songs are about an abusive relationship that I had with one of my exes. I like the idea that I can share my experiences in a way that people can interpret on their own, and then we can find common ground in that connection with each other. There was a lot of anger during that time period, so being able to translate those feelings into these songs was very therapeutic for me. I put out the bait, and if people want to speak about it it’s there.

Would you call music in itself a safe place because you can process your own feelings through someone else’s lyrics?

Music is not a safe place for nazi assholes, they can go to hell. Nobody wants to hear your songs about whiteness and hatred. But besides those people, I’d say so. Stephanie Jo Murck from Sass was really clear about her song ‘Chew Toy’, and it’s a very vulnerable thing to talk about. And I think that’s how I view music: it’s safe for me because its not my whole truth, but I’m still giving it to the entire world. It’s consensual. Music is very consensual because a person chooses to show up for it, or chooses to listen to it. It’s a privilege to write music and give it to people. Music has always been about words and feelings. My father really loves to listen to love songs, lyrics have always been really meaningful to him and I think that’s because it’s a really safe way for him to relate to somebody else, and then to also have that cathartic experience of reliving your own life or your own experiences. Listening to a song, it’s so nice to hear that somebody gets you even if you’ve never met them. it's relieving. And if any of my songs make someone feel understood, then it was all worth writing.

I feel like both meanings of crush are really being employed here, would you say that’s true?

When I say “world biggest crush” it's like being crushed by everything that surrounds you.

The world's biggest crush is being born. Kacey Musgraves has that song ‘Happy and Sad (At The Same Time)’. It’s like that. Life is so crushing. It’s so up and so down, you never know what’s going to happen. It seems like every time I’m on a good wave of being happy I end up being crushed by some inevitable hard thing. So the album title isn’t so much about just having a crush on another human, but about the experiences we go through with our crushes, with our families, with our friends, and how that affects us over time. But also I feel like Kacey Musgraves really gets me and that that’s a world class album. I’ve got the world’s biggest crush on Kacey Musgraves.

Please only answer this if you’re comfortable, but you reference Ryan Adams on your song ‘92/69/39’, which is about a toxic relationship. How did you handle that?

“From you I got Ryan Adams singing "1989"”

So I found out about it [Ryan Adams’ history of abuse], the day after we recorded the album. And I was so mad. But 92, 69, and 39 are the highways that run through a certain town in Wisconsin. So that song is about someone who was very violent with me emotionally, but we would drive out to that town while listening to that album over and over again. When I gave this to Mike we were like, it is a song about an abuser that features an abuser, so it makes sense. I have strong feelings about Ryan Adams, and the fact that I wrote a song about an abusive ex featuring an abusive human feels troubling, but also eye-opening because now people know that both of those people are toxic. And now when I sing the song I usually change the lyrics to “from you I got Tony Hawk Pro Skater”, because Erik once said in an interview that he never knew the lyrics and always thought I was talking about Tony Hawk Pro Skater anyways. Songs like this and ‘Raspberry Kombucha’ and ‘Mayweather’ have helped me in climbing over that situation. Now it doesn’t hurt anymore, now there are other things that do. But fuck Ryan Adams.

Speaking of 'Mayweather', that’s a moment on the album where you shift perspectives. Is that intentional?

I think that song is really specific to a certain time and a certain person. And in that song that experience wasn’t just mine, so I didn't want to speak to that person’s experience. But there’s this sense of unknowingness on my part. It’s more storytelling, it’s not just singing and some words, I’m trying to build a box people can look into and say “that’s what’s really going on”.

'Lake Tahoe' has this poeticism to it that really struck me. It’s this moment of literal migration and being at that point in your life where you start to question your parents as people. Could you speak a bit on that?

“My father, he's got desert skin and dark eyes

Does he miss the mountains, sand, heat?

Did he tell his mother what his brothers did?

Is he afraid to die in cold Wisconsin winters?“

I was actually really nervous at our record release show because my mother and father were there. I even remember fumbling playing guitar on this song because it’s very important. He, like I’ve said, is a big lyric listener. But thinking back on it, growing up mixed, it’s difficult because my parents are people who should’ve never been together in the first place. They met at a restaurant, my mom was a waitress and her husband owned it, and my father was a busboy. They ended up getting married at Lake Tahoe right after my dad’s brother passed away. And it wasn’t like his brother just got sick and died, he was murdered in front of my father in Mexico. It’s the whole beginning of my life before I even existed, an action and momentum of tragedy. My dad was a big drinker and I didn’t realize it for a long time, but his drinking and those experiences he had really did affect me as I grew up and as I became who I am today. I’ve always had this conflicting feeling about life: I really enjoy being alive and I enjoy all the experiences I get to have, but at the same time I have this huge fear of dying that seems to come and go. And when it comes it’s very heavy and troublesome and keeps me from functioning normally in society, and when it goes I have weeks of fresh air that I can breathe and focus on the people around me. I think all of the music is definitely more impactful because the people around me have lived such full, interesting, difficult, challenging, and good lives. Even the bad stuff led to good stuff, and the good is only as good as it is because of the bad stuff. It’s all about reflecting on growing up and realizing that your parents are people too.

You talked earlier about giving people an opportunity to see their truth reflected in your music and I really feel that moment when I listen to ‘Lake Tahoe’. Reaching that odd point in your adulthood where you realize why your parents made the choices they did.

Coming to grips with why your parents made the choices they did is hard. But it’s realizing that you’re not always the star in the movie. And while I’m super fucking mad at my parents for making me, and even though it's really fucking scary to be alive sometimes, the earth is beautiful. There’s a joy that comes with grief. It’s like I both thank you and fucking hate you. I hope this honors all they’ve given me.

Keep up with Miyha

Twitter + Instagram + Facebook

And make sure to check out more from Heavy Heavy Meadow Records

originally published June 11th 2019

Sage ShemroskeAugust 16, 2019